Thursday, 14 July 2016

Joke SMS in Hindi



Joke SMS in Hindi




Girl: mera mobile Maa ke paas rehta hai...
Boy: Agar pakdi gayi toh Darling???
Girl: Tumhara number 'Battery Low' naam se save hai,
Jab bhi tumhara call aata hai, Maa kehti hai lo Charge karlo.

Boyfriend requested to god- Hazaro ki kismat tere hath H,
Agr pass karde to kya bat H.
God-Galfrnds thodi kam, patata to kya bat thi,
Kitabe to sari tere pass thi.

Boy1: Meet my wife
Boy2: Oh! I knw her
B1: Hw?
B2: V wer caught sleepng 2gether
B1: Wat d fcuk?
B2: In college during history lecture class ..
MORAL: Think+ B+

Santa: chiken Kitne Ka?
Chikenwala 140, 120, 10.
Santa: Rs 10? Itna Sasta Kyon?
Chikenwala: Sir, isko Aids Hai,
Santa: Koi Baat Nehi, dedo Khana Hai Sona Thodi Hai Yaar.

Maa: Dekh Beta Us Ladki Ko Paralysis Ho Geya Hai. Munh
Tedha Ho Geya Hai, Honth Bhi Pichak Gaye Hain, Aankhein Bhi Tedhi Ho Gayi Hain.
Chalo Uski Madad Karte Hain.
Beta: Maa Woh Ladki Selfi Le Rahi Hai.
Mom: Fite Munh!

Happu Singh- tum ladkiya 1 se jyaada boyfriend kyon banaati ho?
Girl- taaki kisi ek par yah mahangai ki maar na pade yaar.

Pappu Doctor se kaya aap bina dard kiye bhi daant nikaal lete ho?
Doctor- Nahi to!
Pappu-Mai Nikaal leta hu
Doctor-kese?
Papu- hee hee hee hee hee haa haa haa

Boy: I am a super hero, guess my name?
Girl: Superman, Ironman?
Boy: No, Watchman, who saves owners lives!

Teacher- Agar sachche dil se prarthnaa kee jaae to vo jaroor safal hote hai.
Pappu rahane do Sir, agar aisaa hota to aap mere Sir naheen Sasur hote.

Santa-Lo mithae kho lo
Banta-Wahh! kis khusi me yaar?
Santa-Yaar teri bhabhi jo call centre me kaam karti hai use Best call Girl ka Award mila hai

When my girlfriend told me that she was pregnant, everything changed...
.
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My name,
My address,
My Mobile number.
My facebook Id
Everything!

If Gurgaon becomes Gurugram then,
Kolkata: Kilogram
Mumbai: Milligram
Chennai: Centigram
Telangana: Telegram
And soon India will be Instagram!

They said, When Potassium Hydroxide (KOH) is added with Lithium (Li) it becomes Explosive Reagent.
Well said... "KOH+Li=KOHLI!

Aajkal Motorcycle Company es prakar ki bike bna rahi hai
Jis par piche baithi ladki
Girlfriend ki jagah esi lagti hai
Jese Vikram ke upper Betaal latka ho....

Gayle: Semifinal jitne ka kya tarika hai?
Sami: Hum India ka koi wicket nahi girayenge, na hi kohli aayega aur na hi wo Winning Shot wala Dhoni..

Name: Don
Bhai: Munnabhai
Pata: 36ChinaTown
Thikana: ChandniBar
Guru: Blufmaster
Dushman: Sarkar
Khoon: Ab tak 56
.
sms BHEJ
. WARNA 57 ho jaiega.

Sarkar, Mantri, Santri, Neta, Police, vipaksh sbhi Kanhaiya me etne vyast hai ki
.
.
.
pakistan ko khud batana pad raha hai bhai aatanki bheje hai,
fursat mile to dekh lena

Kohli 20/20 ese khel rahe hai jese enka break up Australia walo ne hi karwaya hai
Anuska tera ye balidaan yaad rakega hinustan

Anushka: Mujhe Kohli Se Milna Hai.
Dhoni: Main Tere Pair Padta Hun Final Tak Ruk Jaa!

hai koi wakil is duniyan me jo hara hua isq jita de

Calendar to 2016 ka bhi chhepaga Mallya ka
lekin es bar Hot Models ke jagah bankers nange honge

Bikini Bikini ke chakkar me Company to bikni hi the yaar(Mallya)

Bharat me Rail ki patariyon ka amulya yogdan raha hai.....
.
.
.
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kabhi log lota lekar baith jaate hai, kabhi kota lekar....

Pappu: papa, pyar ek virus hai.
Papa: aur ye darwaje ke pichhe rakha latth antivirus hai.kahe to abhi tera System Scan kar dun.

Kuch ladke to bas esi ummid me blood donate karte hai
ki Filmo ki tarah kisi cute ladki ko
unka khun chadaya jaega aur phir vo
dundte dundte unhe pyaar karne aaygi

Shaadi krant ke taar ki tarah hoti hai
sahi jud jaaye to saara jivan rosan
aur
galat jud jaaye to jivan bhar ghhtke....

Mai to chahta hu ki Govt. mere WhatsApp msgs ko pade
aur unko hamri Problem ka pata chale ki kese hum Girlfriend ko impress kese kate hai?
Dosto se rupye udhar lekar
unko Dominos, Mac D, KFC, PVR le jate hai,
Bus se chale wale ladke Girlfriend ko Taxi me le jate hai, Kaya pata Govt. Love subsidiary jari kar de.....

Delhite Girl 1 - Mere paas property Hai, Bangla Hai, Farm House Hai, bank balace hai, BMW Car hai tumhare paas kaya hai??
Delhite Girl 2- Oye Mere pass odd aur even number ke gadi wale 2 boyfriend...

Matrimonial AD in Delhi : Boy with even car number seeks
girl with odd car number- no bar on caste, religion

Ab Delhi me kundli or 36 gun milane se phle ye dekha jayega ki ladke aur ladki ki
Car ke even/odd number khi mel to nahi kha rahe hai!

Kuch log Facebook(Social Websites) par Dislike button se satisfied nahi hai
woh esa button chahte hai...
Jis par click karne se comment karne wale ke ghar kanooni notice pahuch jaaye

Bhartiya naari sanskaar wali hoti hai
Vo kabhi sabke samne apne pati ko
-Abe Gadhe
-Oye Gadhe
-Sun Gadhe
nahi bolti
esiliye wo short me
"A.G./O.G./Suno G. kahti hai"

1 halki si Muskuraht hazaaron dil jeet skti hai,Zara hass k to dekye
,,,,/////,,,,
(@ .. @)
(<IIIIII>)
aay haye!
aapne to Mehfil hi loot li...

1-5 yr Girls Love MOM,
6-15 Girls Love DAD
16-25 Girls Love ME
26-50 Girls Love HUSBAND
Ab Bachi
51-80 Girls
Tumhara B To Haq Banta H Yaar..!!

Best tag line for IND vs PAK..Cricket Match 2016
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Time to bully the half lullies..!

Apple- I look like the human heart
Mango- I look like a stomach
Grapes- I look like eyes
Banana- I hate this game

Kajriwaal sarkaar ka sabse bada phesla to "Sharab pine ki umar ko ghtana he hai"
aab modi sarkar laakh koshish kar le kabhi delhi me jeet nahi paayege

Suna hai 1 bank staff log bhi aandolan karne wale hai
vo kahte hai hum log- Oriental Bank of Commerce me kaam
karte hai to hume bhi OBC maana jaye

Jo baandhe se bande aur torne se toot jaye uska naam bandhan
Jo apne aap baan jaye aur jivan bhar na tute uska naam Sambandh

Hasrat-e-Didaar ke liye uski gali me Mobile ki dukaan kholi
Maat poocho aab Halat-e-babsi...
Roj ek naya ladka uska Mobile No. ko Rechage karwane aata hai

Ek Shadi me jab photographer ne Dhara-dhar Radhe Maa ke 300 photo khich liye
taab Dulhan ke papa ne use bataya "Ruko Bhai ruko jraa... Dulhan Radhe
Maa nahi hai, Dulhan abhi beauty parlour me hai

Kahe ki Maa-Jail jane se dar nahi lagta....
darrr to Aasharam se lagta hai...

kahe ka maa:kaya karu apne upar lage elzaam se bechane ke liye?
Advocate-Jail me jane se accha hai media ke samne ro lo, saab
yahe karte hai

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